Dear you,

We are glad you have come to this page. We can help.

Did you know that you’ve already crossed the biggest hurdle in the battle to be free from porn? The realization that you have an addiction to porn is the most difficult point to get to. After this, things will become simpler.

We know you likely feel dirty, shameful, and low. Maybe what led you here was learning the truth of what porn is, the damage it’s done to your relationships, or even what it does to those trapped in the porn industry. Do you feel angry with yourself? Disappointed? Frustrated?

Good. Those feelings are your ammunition. Without them, you would never find the will to fight this addiction. Do not be afraid. We will equip you to find the strength to fight.

You are not alone. Tens of thousands of men just like you are struggling with pornography addiction. That’s no excuse, of course. Just because something is common or ‘normal’, does not mean that it’s healthy or acceptable. This is the case with pornography. What matters is that you shouldn’t be isolated, and realizing that you are not the only one fighting this addiction is a way to release the power it has over you.

For your whole life you have probably been told that objectifying women is ‘manly’. That the desire to feed your sexual cravings with any and every woman you meet is just what guys do. It isn’t. That is a lie. What you are about to do now by rejecting those desires — that’s manly.

So what do you do?

• Cut off access: You need to take all the necessary steps to stop porn’s attacks on you. This means doing whatever it takes to make sure that you have absolutely no access to porn. As impossible as this might sound, it can be done! Cutting off your access is the only way you can begin to recover. Install a filtering system on all of your devices (click here for our recommended filters). Make sure that you do not have access to the password that would allow you to circumvent these filters by entrusting it to a friend.

• Begin a recovery program. Make an appointment with a counsellor or church leader and share your addiction. If you are unable to make a connection with a counsellor, take an online interactive course, such as the Fortify Program from Fight the New Drug, which will help you fight this battle.

• Find community: Surround yourself with friends and loved ones who will support you in your fight against pornography. Make connections with the people around you and bring this issue to the light. As long as this addiction is kept in the dark, it will fester. Expose it to the healing quality of light and of the love of other people and it will begin to heal. This is not easy, especially because you may feel like this is a shameful addiction to have. We understand how big of a hurdle this may be. But we encourage you to take the leap and do it anyway. We know that it will be your biggest superpower in overcoming this addiction. Click here for advice on how to choose an accountability partner.

• Set goals: Begin with short term goals and celebrate in a healthy way when you meet them. Remember that every small battle won is still a victory. These small victories prepare you for even bigger battles. Do not overwhelm yourself with unreasonable expectations, but start small. Continue to push yourself and ask your friends to encourage you.

Contact us: Feel free to contact us any time at connect@strengthtofight.ca. We will listen to your story, offer advice, and try to connect you with those who can help you find freedom from your addiction and send you on the road to recovery.