How to cure porn-induced erectile dysfunction

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By: Shawn Bonneteau (Secret Habit)

Are you feeling the weight of sexual pressure due to erectile dysfunction?

Struggling with Erectile Dysfunction has become an epidemic in the lives of men today. With pornography so readily available, heavy doses of stress in our everyday lives, and Doctors diagnosing physical symptoms prior to examining psychological symptoms, we are seeing an uprising in men of all ages dealing with this phenomenon called “Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction” (aka “PIED”)

What is Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction?

In simple terms, when the penis cannot get hard enough to have intercourse, Erectile Dysfunction (aka “ED”) is diagnosed. When we look at “Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction”, the nature of this diagnosis confirms that it is related to one’s porn addiction and is then a sure problem of the mind, not the body.

As it says in Ephesians 6:12  “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

This means that there is much more below the surface as to why we struggle to get and stay hard… let’s look at why this may be happening to so many men today.

Why does Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction happen?

Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction is, on the surface, caused by watching porn… I think we can all agree that this is an obvious factor to the equation. To make things very clear, this is a brain problem and nothing more. I want you to know that it is not your fault, and it is not something you could have imagined happening when you first started watching porn.

The brain is much more powerful than most of us know. To help you better understand your struggles with PIED, here are 3 key things happening in your brain:

  • Dopamine – Dopamine is a chemical that is released when you anticipate something you want. When you have sexual expectations, you are anticipating them to be met which then shoots a dose of “feel good juice” into your brain. This seems to be a never-failing plan when there is endless porn available at the click of a button… but how about when we are talking about real life?

Basically, if you watch porn and your expectations are set to what happens in a porn video, your partner will NEVER match up. When your sexual expectations, no matter how healthy or unhealthy they are, go unmet, you will experience a dopamine shortage which equates to weak erections.

  • Sensitization –  This can also be known as “Premature ejaculation” which may be a more common term to you. When the brain becomes “sensitized”, you will notice a major shift in your arousal. Becoming much like the dogs in Pavlov’s experiment, the brain will become aroused by specific sounds, smells, emotions, etc…

If these specific sensations come from porn or an experience around porn, then you will ALWAYS struggle to get aroused by our partner… The brain literally rewires itself to enjoy only what gives it the most dopamine.

  • Desensitization – This term is also known as “Delayed Ejaculation” and may be referred to as “Tolerance”. In layman’s terms – You need harder, more shocking arousal to get turned on, you crave more but enjoy less, and you feel no pleasure from healthy sex… Doesn’t this sound terrible! Well, this is what porn is doing to those who continue to watch it day in and day out.

When you get to the point of craving more, but enjoying less, you come to face to face with the reality that your partners cannot satisfy, and really, you don’t know if anything can. This hinders dopamine and other healthy chemicals such as adrenaline, which then leads to your struggles with Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction.

What goes on inside a man struggling with Porn-induced erectile Dysfunction?

When a man, such as yourself, is battling Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction, you are likely wondering if anyone understands your horrific situation… Well, I do. Let me share a quick bit to help you understand that you are not alone in this.

As a married man, I looked at myself as someone who should finally be fulfilled. I had Christ, I was newly married to a beautiful Wife, and I was finally able to stay porn free for a few months. Things were really looking good for someone who had been hopelessly addicted to porn. After the wedding and a few sober months from porn, I realized very quickly, after this sort of nirvana washed away, that my life had a new challenge. This was something I google diagnosed as “Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction”. I gulped as I quickly realized I was dealing with the effects of porn in a greater way than ever before. Without porn as my scapegoat, and out of terror of hurting my wife, I began trying to force myself to get hard everytime we would have sex. This only lead to great despair as I began to feel worthless and incapable, and she started feeling unattractive and unsatisfied. As things got worse, I realized I was falling into a pit of total despair, leaving my wife to make sense of it all for herself. I felt so much pressure, guilt, doubt, anxiety, self-hatred, and worst of all distance from my Wife…

If my story sounds familiar and you are experiencing anything like I had, I want to assure you that you are in the right place. No matter if you are single, married, divorced, young, old, shy, or confident… This fast spreading problem of PIED that has gripped you is not something you need to struggle with any longer! The steps that I took to heal can go much deeper for some and they may be simpler for others. All you need to know is if I healed, why can’t you? If others have seen the benefits and are now enjoying healthy sexual intimacy, why can’t you?

3 steps to cure Porn-induced erectile Dysfunction

1. Do a Porn and Masturbation PURGE  – As you embark on this journey to freedom from the bondage of Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction, the first step should not surprise you.

It says in 1 Corinthians 6:18 to “Flee from sexual immorality”, and in Genesis 39:12 we see Joseph doing just this – He RUNS from Potiphar’s seductive Wife who wants to sleep with him. He doesn’t sit and weigh his options… HE RUNS AWAY so satan has absolutely no opportunity to tempt him into acting against his Godly will.

It is time to crush Satan’s schemes once and for all. It’s time to say no to the immediate problems causing your PIED:

  • “Clean house” of ALL porn – Delete, throw out, cut up, burn – Whichever way you want to do it, make sure it’s ALL gone… you do not want any extra temptations when making the decision to commit to quitting porn and masturbation.
  • FLEE when you are tempted to masturbate – When satan is tempting you to go against your Godly will, that is the time to flee… RUN and find something healthy that you enjoy doing and put your sexual energy into that.

2. REWIRE the brain to want healthy connection – Before porn was in the picture or possibly even while being addicted, your wife or partner would have created in you, very strong feelings and desires for her.

What were those? Do you remember specific scents, feelings, desires? These are what created dopamine “hits” in your brain, not sex, not porn, but nothing more than simple anticipation.

A refresher for those who need it: Dopamine is about the anticipation, not the reward, which makes this groundbreaking information when we understand it in our daily lives!

Take some time and answer these questions so you can understand where you would have originally felt dopamine in your brain:

  • What did you like the most about your partner when you met her?
  • What originally turned you on about your partner?
  • What do you admire about your partner?
  • How can you start exploring healthy intimacy to rebuild anticipation?

*Be creative if you are single and currently without a partner – ED cannot be noticed unless a physical partner is in the picture… why? Because you can just find harder porn to watch and “cure” it instantly… but not with a human being who has real-life limitations… I hope this makes sense to the singles out there

The reason why questions like these are so important is that they will bring you back to a place of realizing how far you have gotten away from the original love you had. This is by no means meant to guilt you out of your addiction…but it is meant to make you aware that this detour you have taken is your responsibility.

If you need some inspiration, look at Revelations 2 where Jesus is speaking to the Church of Ephesus – This always reminds me of Christ’s love, forgiveness, and desire to see us in oneness with His plan.

Try this exercise to add a dose of daily fun and love to your relationship and begin the reprogramming of your mind day by day. Do these 3 things for the next 30 days and see just how blessed you are to have the partner you have:

  1. Compliment your partner in 1 new way each day
  2. Touch your partner in a new way that inspires trust and love
  3. Serve your partner in ways you know would be helpful to her

I pray that you will see that whatever objections you may have against your partner are very likely another dysfunction of your porn addiction. If she is less than fit, avoiding sex, numbing life with substances, or whatever else it may be. Please take heart and know that your change will then inspire her change! I can’t guarantee this but from what I have seen, Women want their man to fight for them! So c’mon man, are you willing to fight for the one God blessed you with?    

3. Verbalize and feelings that are causing you to have erectile dysfunction

Your feelings matter, simple as that. ED is a common problem for those who have many stresses in life. The porn you have been addicted to has caused you to see life from anxiety-ridden lenses, to feel the endless pressure to perform, to sink into utter worthlessness, and to struggle with other porn induced dysfunctions.

Just reading this is probably bringing you to a head nod and a feeling that is less than positive. I have been there, I get it… What I want to communicate is that all of these emotional dysfunctions are causing your erectile dysfunction…

The pressure to perform is one of the greatest killers of a man’s erection and his sexual arousal. On top of that, all of the other painful emotions/feelings you live with just add to the pain that is leading you to the physical problem of PIED.

Let’s cover how you can start handling some of these deep issues by getting deeper into WHY you are struggling with Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction:

  • The Inner-Self – This is where we hide all of our deepest darkest secrets… Everything that we truly think is here. For me, I was completely paralyzed when I would believe the lie that my wife wanted me to perform sex a certain way and that I had to make her orgasm to be “successful”. The pressure that this created was beyond what I could handle… can you relate?
  • Exercise: These questions are here to help you get deep into the truth. There is no place here for PC and no place here for lies. Let’s get raw and realize the “truth” we believe is A LIE.
  • What do you think you “should do” when you have sex with your partner?
  • What do you think your partner wants from you when having sex?
  • What are some things you think you “have to” do during sex?
  • How does your porn addiction affect your mind when having sex?

Let these guide you into some deep reflection, realizing that all of your problems are caused by 3 things and 3 things alone:

  1. Porn and the way it has changed your brain
  2. Attacks from the enemy and the lies you believe
  3. Self-imposed selfishness and avoidance of the deeper issue

I pray that this quick look into my own darkness will bring light to yours, and I hope you will realize you are not alone, that you are understood, and that you are capable of defeating this symptom we call Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction. Put these steps to the test and watch your life turn around before your very eyes


Shawn Bonneteau and His Wife started Secret Habit to help men and women just like them get free from the horrific outcomes of porn addiction… after struggling for 14 years, Shawn is now nearing 2 years of freedom with a mission to help others do the same. 

Credits:

Bible Gateway NIV

Gary Wilson “Your brain on porn”

BullyingNewsVideos Youtube channel

Secret Habit

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