“If porn isn’t sex…what is sex?”
That’s the handwritten question I got from one of the 16 year old boys I was speaking to at a local high school.
I need you to consider the meaning behind his question. Why would a 16 year old boy ask what sex is? There are a number of possibilities. But, after talking with countless young men and women, in just the last few months, I’ll tell you what I hear. I hear the question that an entire generation is asking. And they are asking because they honestly don’t know. They are asking because our society has taken their sexuality, corrupted it, twisted it, confused it, and then tried to sell it back to them under the guise of ultimate happiness.
When we started Strength To Fight and dove head first into fighting the plague of porn, we knew it would change how we see the world. But I for one didn’t realize just how much it would change.
Here are two statistical facts I can’t get away from. Ninety percent of boys under 18 have seen porn. And eighty-eight percent of the porn that the average consumer views contains* violence against women.
This means that in a classroom of 16 year olds, the boy who is not consuming sexual violence against women as ‘entertainment’ is, to put it simply, the odd one out.
Now, I’m not a gambling man. But I know one rule of gambling, which is that the house always wins. And I do know not EVERY single young man is being groomed to be an abuser. I also know that not every young girl is being groomed to be abused. But goodness gracious me, we are not giving boys and girls the best odds, are we? Celebrating the ones who beat the odds and become wonderful upstanding citizens seems rather calloused to the MILLIONS who are falling under the statistical avalanche we’re asking them to dodge.
This generation is in a seriously difficult fight. At Strength to Fight, our goal is to help them. To change the odds. To help them Win The Battle.
*Many articles on pornography argue that it ‘portrays’ violence against women. However we know that at least half of all pornography is not portraying violence, but is actual assault – through coercion or simply through actual violence being filmed. Therefore we prefer to use the word ‘contains’ because what many people are watching is, without their knowledge, an ACTUAL violent act.