By: Brad Pullan
- Realizing that porn isn’t okay.
Although porn use may seem to be the answer to your stressful day, or a ‘positive outlet’ for engaging in healthy sexuality, a growing number of studies have found that porn use is actually linked to poor mental health outcomes. There are studies that show the porn users feel less love for their partner or spouse compared to those who don’t use porn. Porn literally changes the way our brain works. Porn Damages your sex life.
- Confess to someone who supports you and wants you to be free of watching porn.
Finding a friend who you trust, be honest, and vulnerable with, is essential in not watching porn anymore. Porn thrives on secrecy, anonymity, shame, guilt, and stress. Self disclosing to people who I trust is not a fun experience, but is incredibly freeing and I have found that I am not alone in my struggles. The burden of guilt or shame would be lifted. I say trust because that is very important. To share stuff with someone who is careless, and is not trustworthy with personal stuff, would be very foolish. I say this because to have your trust broken as you are trying to be vulnerable over personal stuff will only make you less trusting of a future accountability partner. Be discerning of who you will confess to, but don’t stop looking until you find someone ( Counsellor, best friend, pastors.) It’s too important.
One specific thing that has helped me find freedom and personal growth is self-disclosing my struggles to Jesus Christ. I firmly believe that despite whatever guilt or shame I may have, I am dearly loved by Him. This hope allows me to be confident despite weakness and failing. As embarrassing and discouraging as it is to self-disclose to people, I can confidently do so because my value, identity, and worth isn’t based on being a good moral person, but rather it’s grounded in His love for me.
- Have hope, even when you stumble.
It’s really ok to feel and be guilty about watching porn. Guilt is about being upset about our actions. However, watching porn doesn’t just stop at guilt, but it quickly becomes shame, which is a direct attack of your character and who you are. This is very dangerous, because watching porn is no longer just an action you did, but who you are. The Porn industry wants as much profit as possible. They don’t care if watching porn brings shame to your identity. They don’t care if it hurts your marriage or sex life. They don’t care if an 8 year old gets addicted, in fact they want that to happen. The porn industry sucks. Period. But if you are trying to quit, don’t let your hatred or disgust for the industry only increase your personal shame if you keep watching it. Realize it is bad, share with a close friend that you stumbled, and have hope that you will get up again and have hope that you will eventually overcome watching porn, no matter how addicted you are.
Porn isn’t ok. Tell someone about it. There is hope to be free. Those three truths are devastating to the porn industry.