Dear Mom & Dad,

I hope you have a nice Valentine’s Day date. You have heard a million times that it makes a big difference to me and my siblings when we know our parents love each other. So as much as we groan when you kiss in front of us. It actually does give us security and all that stuff psychologists tell you is important when we see you putting effort into your relationship. But that’s not why I’m writing.

Last Valentine’s day my friend’s parents were going to see Fifty Shades of Grey in theaters and you guys told us that was a really bad movie because it had a lot of sex scenes. And you reminded us that we shouldn’t watch stuff with nudity and how proud you were of us for not having sex like all our friends at school probably are. Just so you know, that’s not necessary, I know all that. But anyway, I’m really just writing to say, thanks for not letting us see your bruises.

See I didn’t go see Fifty Shades of Grey like you asked me to, but I still know what’s in it. Everyone else has seen it so I just nod my head when they talk about it. So I know that it showed more detailed sex than most movies. It shows the whips and the chains, and the violence that actually happens during sex. When me and my friends first saw pornography we thought all that stuff must be just for show. But when we heard that Fifty Shades of Grey was actually a romantic date movie, we realized that that is what actual sex must be like.

Don’t worry! I won’t do any of that stuff until I’m married. You’re raising me well. But I’m just glad that you guys hide the bruises you must have from us. THAT would make us uncomfortable. When I finally do get married, and my wife and I have sex, I will follow your example and we’ll hid our bruises too.

Love,

~ Your son

*Do your kids know WHY Fifty Shades of Grey is a bad movie? Do they think it’s because it showed sexual acts that shouldn’t be seen? Or do they know it shows sexual acts that shouldn’t be done? The sequel will be in theaters in one year. You have one year to talk to your child about what a healthy sexual relationship looks like. Because if you don’t. Everyone else will.

**Just to clarify. This is indeed a fictional letter based on the feedback that we hear from teenagers about what they’re being told about sex.