Help! I’ve Relapsed!

Josh BuckAwareness, Freedom, Men, Resources, Women1 Comment

If there is one thing that is certain about recovering from a porn addiction, it is this: we all have good days and bad days. Today may be a ‘Bad Day’.

You may have been doing extremely well for weeks, days, months, or even years. Perhaps you have not used porn for months, and have begun to forget the myriad of images and videos you used to fill your mind with. It is at this time, when you feel strong and invincible and in tune with your recovery, that the Bad Day hits. It is when we feel strong that we are the weakest, because we let our guard down.

The Bad Day can be an absolute nightmare. Maybe you are triggered by a person you have not seen in years, or you found old material on your phone, or perhaps you simply felt the overwhelming urges that you have not felt in a very long time. Either way, you’ve relapsed, you’ve used porn, and you feel like you’re back at square one.

I have good news for you: hope is not lost. Many people are under the impression that growth is static and must always be going with an upward momentum, otherwise we must be spiraling back into our addiction. This is not true.

Recovery from addiction is less like this:
Screen Shot 2015-09-25 at 7.53.07 PM

And more like this:

Screen Shot 2015-09-25 at 7.53.26 PM

This is simply a visual of porn recovery’s similarities to the Cha-cha-cha: Four steps forward, one step back.

Why is this important? It means you will never land back at square one. You are always growing, healing, recovering. Even this relapse can help propel you forward, further than you have ever come.

In order for that to happen, here are some important steps to take to recover from this relapse and prevent it from happening again.

Connect with your accountability partner as soon as possible. Tell them what happened, and let them know how they can help you in the future. Tighten up your filters if need be, or tell your accountability partner what red flags to look for after this situation.
Try to recall if there was a specific trigger. If possible, avoid this situation in the future.
Connect spiritually. Whether this means prayer, meditation, or reading the Bible, remember that your purpose and plan goes beyond this day.
Take care of yourself and show self-compassion. This was not a good day. But you are not a bad person. This is your suffering, and be compassionate to yourself in light of that. Only through taking care of yourself will you be able to love yourself enough not to destroy yourself by rekindling this addiction.

Feel free to contact us any time at connect@strengthtofight.ca. We will listen to your story, offer advice, and try to help you get back on track.

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