Recently at a talk I was asked a question that comes up fairly often in the Q & A portion of our presentations. It can be said in many ways, but essentially it’s “Ok, I’m convinced that pornography is an issue we need to talk about, but how do I get other people to talk about it.”
And while I give some ideas, and tips and such, the thing that I actually know is, you just did.
You just stood up in front of people that you know and said the word pornography. They now know that you are comfortable saying “that word”. Which means you just made yourself available to other people to talk to you about it. You gave them the opportunity to speak second. It’s always scary being the first one to speak up, and by being willing to talk about it, you are allowing them to go second.
When we show up to a school, university, church or community group, we hope that our presentation is informative, and practical, packed with excellent information. But we know that the actual biggest benefit to the group is the people in the room. The ones who see each other, and now know that there are others who care enough to show up. To speak up and say “What can we do?” We leave behind a group of people who now can speak to each other. We leave the knowledge that there are others around them who care and are unafraid to say the word “pornography”.
Pornography is the disease that grows in the dark. The most powerful tool against it is simply bringing it into the light. Drag it out from behind the locked doors, late nights, and lies, to where it’s talked about, openly, honestly, & comfortably.
It only takes one person to break the silence. That person can be you. You can stand up and say to a group, or a friend, “Here is how pornography has hurt me, my family, my life. How has it hurt you? I’m willing to listen.”
When I dragged my darkest secret of porn addiction out into the light. When I began to tell friends, “Hey, I’m actually having a really hard time fighting porn addiction. It’s something I’ve been dealing with for a long time.” Every. Single. Friend responded with a story of their own. For some it was a present battle, for others it was something in their past. Or something that had affected them through a father or mother’s addiction. But everyone had a story to share. I just had to give them the opportunity to go second.
It turns out, the secret to getting people to talk about pornography, is simply to talk about it yourself.
I want to help people speak up!
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