By: Brad Pullan
“It’s not my place to judge what people do in their personal life.”
It’s not surprising that people say this.
Living in Canada, and especially spending four years at university, I’ve discovered that a cherished value is to avoid offending someone, and in particular their lifestyle choices, as long as it seems not to be hurting anyone else.
This tolerance is fantastic for the porn producers. Their $90+ billion industry grows each year, while also stealing valuable time from millions of people all over the world. In 2016 alone, 91,980,225,000 videos were watched on Pornhub, the equivalent of 12.5 videos for every person on the planet. The total number of hours of porn watched on just this site was 4,599,000,000. This is equal to 5,246 centuries.
What does all this time & money do within our society?
- Porn directly fuels sex trafficking just from one click on a free website.
- Society is taught that it is okay to be unfaithful in marriages and relationships.
- Rape culture & violent sexuality are normalized (especially against women).
- Objectification of humans. People and their sexuality is just a means to your end. After all “women want sex all the time.”
- The myths of porn have fed into unrealistic expectations which lead to terrible insecurities (especially for children and teenagers).
- Porn has ruined the ability to have sex.
- Kids are not only addicted to porn, but one 13-year-old was addicted to Viagra because of his porn addiction.
I deeply wish these things were not true, but this hardly even scratches the surface of the pain, injustice, and sadness which the porn industry has brought into our lives. These harsh realities become a lot more tangible if you talk to a sexual abuse victim, someone who has had an unfaithful spouse or partner, or even someone who is addicted to porn and feels ashamed for not being able to quit.
I have one simple question: the next time that you hear “it’s not my place to judge what people do in their personal life,” what will you say or not say?
Will you let the myth that ‘porn is not that bad’ continue because you are afraid of coming off lame or too prudish?
Things you can do to help:
- Next time you hear “it’s not my place to judge what people do in their personal life” in relation to pornography, respectfully share why you disagree. For some good, scientific arguments against porn we suggest Matt Fradd’s The Porn Myth.
- Familiarize yourself with some videos, articles, or blogs and share them on your social media account. I have heard several stories of people who were thankful for coming across advice online for how they can live a porn-free life (Strength to Fight wouldn’t exist if we didn’t believe anyone can live a porn-free life!).
- Buy a #LovePeopleHatePorn T-shirt! It can help you start conversations and the profits go to fund more work at Strength To Fight to keep fighting pornography.
- Whether you are talking to someone who is pro-porn, indifferent, or a porn user who is trying to quit, remember to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Real tolerance is being able to completely disagree with an idea and have the courage to share why, and, even if someone rejects or disrespects your view, still choose to love, care, and hope for that person’s best.
The porn industry has profited far too long off of silence and indifference to the industry.
If you agree with us that porn is really bad for society, join us in our fight to equip Canadians to live porn-free lives and build porn-free communities.