I am a woman. I am a porn addict.

Josh GilmanAwareness, Freedom, WomenLeave a Comment

When we tell people that the majority of volunteers and people wanting to work with us are women, they are either shocked, or assume it’s because these women and girls are concerned about their husbands and sons. That is not the case. It is because porn addiction is destroying women & girls. Women want to fight pornography because it’s hurting themselves, or other girls they know and love.

Here is a testimony from one of our Team Members.

My name is Colette. I am a woman and I am a porn addict. How do I know this? I easily meet the criteria for an addict…I crave porn, my use of it is compulsive, and it is definitely out of my control.

When I say that I’m a porn addict, I really mean porn. There’s this terribly unhealthy assumption that is being made that women’s porn use is ‘different’. Women are supposed to be relational, emotional, sensual – we consume erotica, pornographic stories, and maybe the occasional soft core porn film. This is a myth. Women use the same porn that men do. Why on earth would I find different results on Google when I search the word porn? The internet doesn’t make any distinctions. The creators of porn don’t make any distinctions. And neither does my addiction. My desires are driven by my flesh just as a man’s are. So yes. I use hardcore porn. I have preferences. I have purposely watched the most violent and degrading offerings of the internet. I have watched them on purpose.

But there is one very big difference in my porn use as opposed to a man’s porn use. I am teaching myself to hate myself. I am teaching myself that I deserve to be hurt, like the women in porn are hurt. I am teaching myself that I deserve only domination, pain, disrespect, and abuse. I am teaching myself that I have to let men do what they want with me. That’s all I am worth. I can have no preference. And if I want something other than what porn teaches, who do I think I am? I’m a woman. I have no choices.

Now, I am a wife. And I am a mother. I am a sister, and I am a friend. So I know that I deserve love, respect, and tenderness. But I only know that because I know that porn isn’t what should be expected of me. I am only able to live a normal life because I have healed, recovered, and been renewed.

I tell my story to show others that women are not just using the same porn as men, women are not just affected by porn because other women are also hurt. No, porn destroys women because it destroys femininity. It destroys healthy sexual behaviors. It destroys love. And it teaches women and young girls that they are only as sexual as men want them to be. I am grateful and unique because I have learned that I am more than just a collection of body parts. I am not an object.

I am a porn addict, yes. But I am first a woman. And that will never change. So ladies, know this: you are not alone. And you are worth more than what porn and society is teaching you. You are unique, beautiful, and worthy of respect, love, and tenderness. Embrace your femininity, embrace a porn-free life.

How can I help fight for women?

Strength To Fight is holding a bike-a-thon on August 27th, to help raise money to continue to develop more resources, including several aimed directly at helping women trapped in porn addiction. You can join us or donate here!

How can I get help for myself?

Email women@strengthtofight.ca if you are looking for help in your own life, or advice on how to reach women who are hurting.

How can I speak up in my community?

Learn all you can, and don’t be afraid to be the first voice raising awareness in your community. If you want help speaking up, invite one of our speakers to your event, community or church.

 

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